The mirror scares me lately
I don’t like who I am becoming
Or who I’ve been these past few weeks
Weeks, weeks, I’m becoming weak.
Weaker in my actions
Weaker in my thoughts
Please don’t eat
Have I failed?
Have I not failed myself, my disease, but everyone around me?
All I wanted was to disappear
From all that I fear
I wanted to waste away into the ocean
And disintegrate into the sea
Sea, sea, see what you’ve done?
You’re a pig
All you do is fail, and eat and eat
Go ahead, dig
Dig your hole a little deeper
I’m torn apart
My heads a mess
As well as my apathetic heart
I keep turning towards the mirror
Repeating “this is not ok”
Because that’s all I can make out
Hitting, punching, screaming
Anything to punish myself for what I’ve become
Here’s to you, ana